Remember those Mardi-bears I mentioned yesterday? “They are pretty dumb but they do funny stuff,” I said? This morning I thought I was going to rip my stitching open I was laughing so hard.
As a plush, it's easy to to just sit. You might call it sleep, but it's different for us. We don't need to go to sleep like people, or fang-beasts. For us it's more of 'being blank' for a while. Some of us do it more of the time, others eventually learn to be 'non-blank' when we want to. It kinda depends on the bear, or whatever you are.
So back to what made me laugh so hard. I was checking out my surroundings (Dave, the other big-guy tends to move me around to weird places...more recently) and I was sitting in a window early this morning. They were both asleep. They like to sleep late. And believe me, lots happens around here when THEY are 'blank.'
Admiring the light on the flowers in the window I wasn't really paying attention to anything else up here. But then I heard a BANG! Now, this house has its normal noises and its “hey, what the hell was THAT?” noises. This was one of the second kind. But... since it wasn't followed up by anything big I went back to staring at the flower and out the window. Soon enough I got my follow-up.
“Wyatt, Wyatt, Wyatt, Wyatt, Wyatt, Wyatt, Wyatt, Wyatt, Wyatt, Wyatt!” Someone was looking for me... obviously. And that voice told me who. I looked down to the floor and one of the Mardi-bears was hopping up and down, waaaaaaay below me on the carpet. “Come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come!” These bears, if they have any brains, have very few. I personally think they all share ONE between them, but that's just me. “Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurreeeeee!” He kept hopping up and down.
I don't really hurry ANYWHERE, have you seen the stubby things I have for legs? But I hopped off the table and down to the floor, landing with a “Pwwuuuffff” - what, did you think I'd say “thud?” - I'm stuffed with fluff, not marbles! Anyway the impatient little Mardi-bear had already darted off across the carpet in the direction of the steamy little room. And as I followed I thought, “I have a bad feeling about this...”
What came into view (remember my eyes are kind of bad) was shocking, but ridiculous and hysterical at the same time. I rarely laugh out loud, but I couldn't help myself and started grunting and snorting. “Help, help, help, help, help, help, help, help, help, help!” the Mardi-bear who had gotten me started pleading. And as soon as the others saw me there, they ALL started in. “Help, help, help, help, help, help, HELP, heeeeeelp, hppppp, heeeellllPPPP!” I was laughing too hard to really figure things out at first, but after a minute I did calm down a litte. “How did you do THAT!?” I tried to sound as disapproving and fatherly as I could, but still couldn't help but snort. “Ducks!, ducks, ducks, ducks, ducks, ducks, ducks, ducks!” The closest one started repeating.
Yeah, ok, I got the picture at that point. You see, the window in the steamy-room has a shelf where the rubber ducks live. I wasn't sure, and I'm still not completely positive, but either the Mardis were blaming the whole thing on the ducks, or they were simply trying to GET TO the ducks. The ducks were silent about the whole incident...all of them. “Now that's a well disciplined crew!” I thought, still holding back the urge to laugh.
I think the Mardis were kind of mad when I said, “I'll be right back!” but I HAD to capture the moment. Luckily the phone-thingy is always on the table next to the bed at night, so it was a quick trip. I've never really understood the big-white-wineglass in the steamy-room, but the big guys sure do go to it a lot, like 3, 4, 5 times a day! I keep away, because until now I've never seen it close its mouth, but I don't want to again! We got #4 out (that's the Mardi-bear, everyone just uses numbers for them) just a few tugs on his legs and he popped out, a little flattened, but he'll recover.
No harm, right? I don't think the Mardis will be bothering the ducks again.
I made my way back to my perch on the table by the window with the plant and a little while later I heard one of the big guys get up and go into the scene of the recent excitement. Usual noises of water and “kerFLUSHing” but I could swear I heard him mumble in a low voice, “Dammit why is the fucking seat down?”
