A man walks into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I've got a problem..." The doctor asks, "What's wrong?" The man says, "It hurts when I do this...." The doctor looks at him and says, "well... don't do that..." and walks out.
I have a question. Is the following headline really ALL that surprising? 'Report: Abstinence Programs Don't Work ' - AP November 8, 2007
Don't get me wrong, the pragmatic way to deal with any problem IS to not do what is problematic.
For example: You are a smoker, stop smoking; You are a gambler, stop gambling; You have terminal cancer and have less than 6 months to live, stop having cancer; You invade a sovereign nation and fuck everything up unbelievably, destabilizing the entire region, fomenting hatred for your citizens and dashing your previous good standing in the world on the rocks for decades to come, pretend everything is going great!
See, it quickly falls apart.
According to the AP article above, "... there does not exist any strong evidence that any abstinence program delays the initiation of sex, hastens the return to abstinence or reduces the number of sexual partners." The study conducted found that while abstinence-only efforts appear to have little positive impact, more comprehensive sex education programs were having "positive outcomes" including teenagers "delaying the initiation of sex, reducing the frequency of sex, reducing the number of sexual partners and increasing condom or contraceptive use." Why is it then that while abstinence programs are eligible for tens of millions of federal dollars each year they just don't seem to work? Hmmmmmmm. And why is it that programs that actually educate teens about the correct use of contraceptives, that actually talk about the risks and consequences of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases and give them greater "confidence in their ability to say 'no' to unwanted sex" DO show a an effect on teenage sexual behavior?
Perhaps it has something to do with that age old complaint most kids have when growing up: "You treat me like I'm stupid!" or better yet, "You treat me like I'm a kid!"
Again, pragmatically, when communicating with someone young or inexperienced in a particular area it's often useful to attempt to communicate at their level. This doesn't however translate to busting out with "Touch the Fuzzy Bunny", or "Thomas the Tank Engine." Let's take a look at a site devoted to 'Teen Abstinence.'
Abstinence
What Is It?Abstinence is not having sex. A person who decides to practice abstinence has decided not to have sex..
How Does It Work?
If two people don't have sex, then sperm can't fertilize an egg and there's no possibility of a pregnancy. Some forms of birth control depend on barriers that prevent the sperm from reaching the egg (such as condoms or diaphragms). Others interfere with the menstrual cycle (as birth control pills do). With abstinence, no barriers or pills are necessary because the person is not having sex.
You don't have to be a virgin to practice abstinence. Sometimes people who have been having sex decide not to continue having sex. Even if a person has been having sex, he or she can still choose abstinence to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
Consistent abstinence means that someone practices abstinence all the time. Having sex even once means that the person risks getting an infection.
Wow. I know as a teenager I would have certainly left it at that, and not wanted to know ANYTHING about anything else having to do with sex, stds, contraception or pregnancy. But having attended Catholic School I was fully indoctrinated in all of these things at a young age. No, I'm not being cheeky or facetious, we actually did have access to all this knowledge. (What would the POPE say?)
Anyway, it seems fairly clear that the answer is not to deny, or hide, or obfuscate the truth when dealing with a problematic topic. Yes, teaching children to make the right decisions in life isn't particularly easy, but that doesn't necessarily translate to NOT teaching them anything!
Then again the joke could just as easily go: "A man walks into his doctor's and says, 'Doc I'm having trouble educating my children about the dangers of pregnancy, unsafe sex and sexually transmitted diseases..." The doctor looks at him and says, "Well then.... DON'T!"
