Browsing through Craig's List this evening I came across a (romantic?) listing in the 'Missed Connections' section, entitled, "Sexy foot hanging out car window at Target parking lot Weds. afternoon" So I had to check it out. The ad itself read: I'm the tall guy you were looking at who want to come over to your foot hanging out the car and suck and lick on those delicious looking toes and soles!!!"

Apart from the stylistic use of English grammar I thought, "What a romantic thing."

And then I thought, "what would someone do if suddenly they were HAVING their feet licked and sucked, quite out of the blue? Regardless of whether one gave that 'come hither I want you to suck and lick my delicious looking toes and soles' look.

But then I thought, "What would the 'come hither I want you to suck and lick my delicious looking toes and soles' look be? Would you have to bend and contort your body simply to get your head out of the car window at the same time as your feet? Or would you rotate, sticking your feet out as bait, then switching positions and looking around to see if anyone went for them. Then back to the bait casting, then back to the looking... and so on and so forth. And how long would this go on? All afternoon? What is the best time to do this? Rush hour? Lunch time?

And then I thought, "Wait... this was in the Target parking lot?!"

And then I thought, "Ewww."

Two days before Christmas, 2007.  It's been a craptacular year.  And it's a craptacular day!

Snow?  Not here!  We don't get snow on Christmas anymore.  I'm sure it's God's punishment for something.  You KNOW we're all sinners, so watch out!  50 degrees and raining, that's the outlook for today.  Of course it's last minute shopping time and everyone and their retarded brother is out in the malls, on the streets, in the parking lots... doing what you would expect:  being incredibly fuCKING STUPID!!!!!!!

Ok, I'll admit, I'm just being a grouch.  I'm sure I'm not in the minority.  There were plenty of people I came across who were in exactly the same mood I was in while I was out.  Those were the ones who stayed clear, out of the way... and we got along JUST fine.  Perhaps there is an understood code of the curmudgeonly?  Well, here is to the Christmas Curmudgeons!  Oh, and lady... get the HELL out of the way when you get off the escalator!  Don't just stand there!

It was just a quick purchase. I had done it a hundred times before and not had any problems. "$12 wasn't that much to spend on such a useful little application, " I told myself. The registration page on the app opened my browser and dropped me to a familiar site -- a universally recognized online payment service. I had an account with said service, but thought I'd simply debit my card directly without having to go through the hassle of logging in, only to be bombarded with marketing and up-selling of all kinds. "You already have an account! Please login to continue!" said the next screen. "Ok," I thought, "I guess I'll login..." I only had two accounts with said online payment service and THOUGHT I knew what to enter, but my passwords didn't work. None of my passwords worked. Fortunately for me there were handy "'Forget Your Password?" options. Yeah, well... it just hadn't been a good day, and it was about to get worse.

I didn't have any particular direction or topic, but an egg mcmuffin popped into my head. I went to google and did a quick search on "the joys of breakfast sandwiches". The oh-so-helpful suggestion popped back with, "DID you mean: the joints of breakfast sandwiches?" Well, no, I didn't mean that, but it was enough to kick me in a direction for writing.

Did you know (according to answers.com) that... "A breakfast sandwich is a sandwich served at breakfast. Breakfast sandwiches typically are made using breakfast meats, breads, eggs and cheese. These sandwiches were typically regional specialties until fast food restaurants began serving breakfast. Because the types of bread common, such as biscuits, bagels, and English muffins were similar in size to a fast food hamburger buns, they made an obvious choice for fast food restaurants. Unlike other breakfast items, they were perfect for the innovation of the drive-through. These sandwiches have also become a staple of many convenience stores, who serve them as take-away items."

Damn. What would I do without such an invaluable resource? I knew Wikipedia would have more to say on the topic, so I sauntered over there.